Praise for Liars and Losers Like Us

“This is an engaging read for anyone who enjoys stories of high school drama and popularity, coupled with the sometimes painful, anxious ride of adolescence. The author writes this story with bits and pieces of her own experience as a survivor of abuse, encouraging teens to stand up for the truth. VERDICT A relatable supplemental purchase.” –School Library Journal

“While the final scenes of the novel are reminiscent of a John Hughes’ movie, complete with the perfect kiss after prom, this novel embraces heavier things as well and is certain to appeal to readers who want to see justice served and love trump hate. Pair with Thirteen Reasons Why (2007), by Jay Asher, and Prom (2005), by Laurie Halse Anderson, for readers’ advisory recommendations.” —Booklist

“I loved this book. It was the perfect mix of funny and serious…A smart and satisfying read.” -Amanda MacGregor, Teen Librarian Toolbox

“A twisty, addictive story brimming with hilarious characters, prom drama, and, yes, heart.”—Marci Lyn Curtis, author of The One Thing

“Poignant and hilarious in turns, Liars and Losers Like Us is a deeply real portrait of the high school landscape. Allen-Vath shows us that you can’t believe everything you see when it comes to other people.”—Liz Czukas, author of Top Ten Clues You’re Clueless
“Liars and Losers Like Us is a story of secrecy, pain, and, self-awareness artfully wrapped in snort-laugh-out-loud humor and heart-melting romance, as the best and truest adolescent tales are. Bree Hughes is a YA heroine to remember.”—Dahlia Adler, author of Behind The Scenes, Under The Lights, and Just Visiting

“Liars and Losers Like Us tackles all the hard things, like Bree’s struggle with panic attacks, while delivering prom shenanigans and a swoon-worthy romance. You should read this book for the Bree-Sean banter alone.” –Rachael Allen, author of The Revenge Playbook and 17 First Kisses

“Witty, heartbreaking, and extremely thoughtful, Liars and Losers Like Us will take you on a roller coaster ride to prom that will leave you breathless and wanting more.”–Natasha Sinel, award-winning author of The Fix

“Liars and Losers Like Us is an honest and poignant look at first love, bullying, and the tempestuous tides of high school popularity. Bree’s struggles with anxiety and her true-to-life love-hate relationship with being in the limelight had me rooting for her from page one, and Ami Allen-Vath’s careful handling of the subject matter results in a story where winning doesn’t mean getting a crown; it means developing compassion and understanding for the people around you.”–Francesca Zappia, author of Made You Up

“Drama, wit, and romance make Liars and Losers Like Us a thoroughly compelling read, with a strong undercurrent of compassion for those with hidden pain.”–Rachel Wilson, author of Don’t Touch

“Quirky and sometimes awkward, Bree Hughes is a realistic character that will have you laughing out loud even while you’re contemplating the way you treat people. With fast pacing and a unique cast of characters, Liars and Losers Like Us will inspire you to make the most of every moment you have.”–Sarah Schmitt, author of It’s a Wonderful Death

When Your Book Gets a New Title!

LALLU TITLE PIC

Hey everyone! The book formerly know as Prom Bitch has a shiny, brand new title!

LIARS AND LOSERS LIKE US

Things change a lot in publishing (note: new pub date of MARCH 2016!) but I am very excited about everything and am so grateful to be in this position.

An extra special thanks to everyone who supported me during new title gate 2015: My fabulous editor Kristin Kulsavage, my agent Victoria Lowes, Sarah, Rachel, Natalie, Natasha, Fall Fifteeners, Fearless Fifteeners, and of course my family. : )

When & Where Can I Get This LIARS AND LOSERS LIKE US Book?

Millions of people keep asking when my book is coming out! Okay, not really that many people but my mom has a bad memory, so I am writing this quick post.

Prom gif 1

LIARS AND LOSERS LIKE US is not out yet. However, it can be PRE-ORDERED! You can do this right now online via Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and you can also check your local indie bookstore site. LIARS AND LOSERS LIKE US can also be found on BookLikes and GoodReads…so you can add it to your TBR lists. Even though you can’t hold it yet, DO mark your calendar for MARCH 15, 2016 because that is when it releases! You will then get to read and dance around with my book. MARCH 2016 y’all!

MG dancing at prom

March is a great month. You’ll be able to buy it for your friends, lovers, frenemies, and family for St. Patrick’s Day, Spring, Promposal gifts (because this should be a thing!) and then all the other 2016 holidays.

suprise B

Also, you can find the boutonniere, perfect dress and/or lipstick to coordinate with the LIARS AND LOSERS LIKE US cover for 2016’s prom season. Convenient, eh?

dif dresses   

lipstick

And hey: special thanks to everyone who’s expressed interest and enthusiasm for my book this far. It’s so exciting and very humbling. (Eeeeeee!) I still can’t believe it. (Here’s my book deal story, in case you missed it).

I’ll be sure to update this post whenever I get more details! (Actual day! The cover! Buy Links!) Okay. That’s all.

awk thank you in formal wear

XOami

2015 MG & YA Debuts To Watch For

books in library

Please let me know via twitter or in the comments if a title or release date has changed or if *gasp* I’ve made a spelling error. Also FOR SURE let me know if you know of any other MG or YA debuts that I can add to this list!

WINTERish RELEASES

GIF winter

JANUARY

13: Maggie Hall, THE CONSPIRACY OF US

13: Gail Nall, BREAKING THE ICE

20: Susan Adrian, TUNNEL VISION

27: Michelle Falkoff, PLAYLIST FOR THE DEAD

27: Dan Gemeinhart, THE HONEST TRUTH

27: Holly Smale, GEEK GIRL

FEBRUARY

3: Courtney Alameda, SHUTTER

3: Lee Kelly, CITY OF SAVAGES

3: Laurie McKay, VILLAIN KEEPER

3: A.L. Sonnichsen, RED BUTTERFLY

5: Eve Ainsworth, SEVEN DAYS

5: Maya Rock, SCRIPTED

5: Abbie Rushton, UNSPEAKABLE

10: Lisa Aldin, ONE OF THE GUYS

10: Victoria Aveyard, RED QUEEN

10: MarcyKate Connolly, MONSTROUS

10: Cindy L. Rodriguez, WHEN REASON BREAKS

10: Jasmine Warga, MY HEART AND OTHER BLACK HOLES

17: Kathryn Holmes, THE DISTANCE BETWEEN LOST AND FOUND

24: Alison DeCamp, MY NEAR-DEATH ADVENTURES (98% TRUE!)

24: Catherine Doyle, VENDETTA

24: Melinda Salisbury, THE SIN EATER’S DAUGHTER

26: Abi Elphinstone, THE DREAMSNATCHER 

MARCH

3: David Arnold, MOSQUITOLAND

3: Bibi Belford, CANNED AND CRUSHED

3: Lisa Freeman, HONEY GIRL

3: Mary McCoy, DEAD TO ME

3: Becky Wallace, THE STORYSPINNER

10: Francesca Haig, THE FIRE SERMON

10: Kristy Shen & Bryce Leung, LITTLE MISS EVIL

17: Sheila Grau, DR. CRITCHLORE’S SCHOOL FOR MINIONS

17: Stacey Lee, UNDER A PAINTED SKY

17: Darci Manley & Shani Petroff, ASH

17: Moriah McStay, EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU

17: N. K. Traver, DUPLICITY

17: Jenn Marie Thorne, THE WRONG SIDE OF RIGHT

18: Melody Maysonet, A WORK OF ART

24: Aisha Saeed: WRITTEN IN THE STARS

24: Erin Estrada Kelly, BLACKBIRD FLY

24: Rhiannon Thomas, A WICKED THING

24: Tommy Wallach, WE ALL LOOKED UP

SPRINGish RELEASES

GIF spring library

APRIL

2: Tatum Flynn, THE D’EVIL DIARIES

7: Becky Albertalli, SIMON VS. THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA

7: I. W. Gregorio, NONE OF THE ABOVE

7: Marie Jaskulka: THE LOST MARBLE NOTEBOOK OF FORGOTTEN GIRL & RANDOM BOY

8: Fonda Lee, ZEROBOXER

8: Stefanie Lyons, DATING DOWN

14: K. E. Ormsbee, THE WATER AND THE WILD

14: Lance Rubin, DENTON LITTLE’S DEATHDATE

14: Michelle Smith, PLAY ON

18: Rachel Shane, ALICE IN WONDERLAND HIGH

21: Lori Goldstein, BECOMING JINN

21: Amy McNulty, NOBODY’S GODDESS

28. Jen Brooks, IN A WORLD JUST RIGHT

28: Melissa Grey, THE GIRL AT MIDNIGHT

28: Megan Morrison, GROUNDED: THE ADVENTURES OF RAPUNZEL

28. Sabaa Tahir, AN EMBER IN THE ASHES

MAY

5: Sarah Benwell, THE LAST LEAVES FALLING

5: Wendy Brotherlin, FREAKS OF NATURE

5: Elaine Dimopoulos, MATERIAL GIRLS

5: Jenny Martin, TRACKED

5: Miriam Spitzer Franklin, EXTRAORDINARY

5: Krista Van Dolzer, THE SOUND OF LIFE AND EVERYTHING

7: Meredith Moore, I AM HER REVENGE

12: Holly Bodger, 5 TO 1

12: Angelica R. Jackson, CROW’S REST

12: Kelly Jones, UNUSUAL CHICKENS FOR THE EXCEPTIONAL POULTRY FARMER

12: Maggie Lehrman, THE COST OF ALL THINGS

15: Valynn E. Maetani, INK AND ASHES

19: Francesca Zappia, MADE YOU UP

26: Sonia Charaipotra & Dhonielle Clayton TINY PRETTY THINGS

JUNE 2: Cassie Beasley, CIRCUS MIRANDUS

2: Jennifer Chambliss Bertman, BOOK SCAVENGER

2: Virginia Boecker, THE WITCH HUNTER

2: Melissa E. Hurst, THE EDGE OF FOREVER

2: Cordelia Jensen, SKYSCRAPING

8: Lynn Lindquist, SECRET OF THE SEVENS

9: Gina Ciocca, LAST YEAR’S MISTAKE

9: David Fulk, RAISING RUFUS

9: Stephanie Oakes, THE SACRED LIES OF MINNOW BLY

9: Katie M. Stout, HELLO, I LOVE YOU

9: Jen White, SURVIVAL STRATEGIES OF THE ALMOST BRAVE

16: Lauren Gibaldi, THE NIGHT WE SAID YES

16: Adam Silvera, MORE HAPPY THAN NOT

16: Christine Hayes, MOTHMAN’S CURSE

16: Sharon Huss Roat, BETWEEN THE NOTES

SUMMER RELEASES

GIF summer

JULY

7: Kris Dinnison, YOU AND ME AND HIM

15: Randy Ribay, AN INFINITE NUMBER OF PARALLEL UNIVERSES

20: Valeria Tejeda, HOLLYWOOD WITCH HUNTER

21: Amanda Panitch, DAMAGE DONE

AUGUST

4: Anne Boles Levy, THE TEMPLE OF DOUBT

4: Michelle Levy, NOT AFTER EVERYTHING

4: Shannon Grogan, FROM WHERE I WATCH YOU

4: Kaitlin Ward, BLEEDING EARTH

6: Dawn Kurtagich, THE DEADHOUSE

18: Alexandra Sirowy, THE CREEPING

FALL RELEASES

Anne of Gr Gables BFF

SEPTEMBER

1: Carol Riggs, THE BODY INSTITUTE

1: Natasha Sinel, THE FIX

1: Ronald L. Smith, HOODOO

1: Jackie Lea Sommers, TRUEST

1: Nicola Yoon, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING

2: Mandy Mikulencak, FACING FIRE

3: Lauren James, THE NEXT TOGETHER

8: Marci Curtis, THE ONE THING

15: Anne-Marie McLemore, THE WEIGHT OF FEATHERS

15: Heather Petty, LOCK & MORI

19: Kelly Loy Gilbert, CONVICTION

22: Mikaela Everett, THE UNQUIET

22: Mike Grosso, I AM DRUMS

22: Mackenzi Lee, THIS MONSTROUS THING

29: Laurel Gale, DEAD BOY

29: Amy Lukavics, DAUGHTERS UNTO DEVILS

TBA: Isabel Bandeira, BOOKISHLY EVER AFTER

OCTOBER

6: Ann Jacobus, ROMANCING THE DARK IN THE CITY OF LIGHT

6: Sarah J. Schmitt, IT’S A WONDERFUL DEATH

7: Marcy Beller Paul, UNDERNEATH EVERYTHING

NOVEMBER

10: Charlotte Huang, FOR THE RECORD

24: Kate McGovern, RULES FOR 50/50 CHANCES

DECEMBER (so winter!)

8: Ryan Dalton, THE YEAR OF LIGHTNING

9: Sarah McGuire, VALIANT

16: Claire Kennedy, AFTER HOURS

MOVES FROM 2015 to 2016:

Jan 2016: Patrick Samphire, SECRETS OF THE DRAGON TOMB

Feb 2016: Ami Allen-Vath, PROM BITCH

Last Will and Testament by Dahlia Adler is here!

LastWillandTestamentCoverHighRes

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT by Dahlia Adler is out today! LWaT is Dahlia’s first New Adult book and it’s been on my GOTTA HAVE list since I first read about it. (For 411 on Dahlia’s YA Behind The Scenes and those upcoming go HERE).

I’m totally into a book that can combine feelsy, sexy and witty, and Last Will and Testament sounds like it hits all these marks. Read the blurb to see what I mean:

Lizzie Brandt was valedictorian of her high school class, but at Radleigh University, all she’s acing are partying and hooking up with the wrong guys. But all that changes when her parents are killed in a tragic accident, making her guardian to her two younger brothers. To keep them out of foster care, she’ll have to fix up her image, her life, and her GPA—fast. Too bad the only person on campus she can go to for help is her humorless, pedantic Byzantine History TA, Connor Lawson, who isn’t exactly Lizzie’s biggest fan.

But Connor surprises her. Not only is he a great tutor, but he’s also a pretty great babysitter. And chauffeur. And listener. And he understands exactly what it’s like to be on your own before you’re ready. Before long, Lizzie realizes having a responsible-adult type around has its perks… and that she’d like to do some rather irresponsible (but considerably adult) things with him as well. Good thing he’s not the kind of guy who’d ever reciprocate.

Until he does.

Until they turn into far more than teacher and student.

Until the relationship that helped put their lives back together threatens everything they both have left.

Sounds great right? Here’s an excerpt just in case you need proof that you want and need it:

“Did you mean what you said?” he asks. “About dropping?”

“I’m not sure yet.” No point in lying, especially to the one person who’s actually been helping me organize my thoughts. It’s not like I know I can get into another class this late, but I do know the idea of sitting in one with him is torture. And the truth is, it’s not just his class I’ve been thinking about leaving. The more of Tyler’s moodiness I observe, the more I wonder if Radleigh itself just isn’t the right place for us right now.

“You can’t make me the difference between staying and going,” he says tightly, bracing a hand on the back of kitchen chair. He doesn’t meet my eyes, but instead watches his own knuckles go white from his grip. “That’s not fair.”

I snort. “First of all, you’re talking to someone who lost her parents in an instant and became an eighteen-year-old mother of two, so if you want to compete about ‘fair,’ you’ve brought a fucking watergun to the Second Crusade.”

“That’s not—”

“Second of all, this isn’t a ‘boo hoo, the boy I like doesn’t like me back so I’m uprooting my life’ situation, okay? I need an A in all my classes this semester in order to keep my scholarship, which I need to stay here. Now my transcript is shot to hell. Honestly, it’d probably be better for both me and the boys if I stopped wasting money on my tuition altogether and got a full-time job instead. Maybe then I could actually afford to get the boys’ their own damn bedrooms.”

“But you’re getting an A in the class….”

“Maybe for now, but you think that’s gonna hold up without you tutoring me?” I all but growl, taking care to make sure the boys can’t hear me through the door. “You think I’m gonna be able to focus in class every day? Watching you hand out papers and remembering how those hands feel on my skin? I’m supposed to listen to you lecture and not think about how you said my name like I was a glass of water and you were dying of thirst?”

“Lizzie, stop.” His knuckles are so white now I swear I can see bone through the skin. But I don’t care. I’m not done.

“I can’t be around you. I’m sorry if that sounds crazy to you or whatever. But I need to focus, and I don’t see myself doing that when all I can think about when I see you is finishing what we started.”

Connor swallows hard. “Even now?”

“I threw myself at you earlier today, Connor. Just because your feelings go away with the snap of your fingers doesn’t mean mine do.” The humiliation of my admission burns in my face, and I gather up the remaining dishes with a clatter and stalk past him to drop them in the sink. When I turn back around, he’s standing in my face, so close I can feel body heat radiating from every inch of him.

“You don’t really think that’s what happened, do you?”

“I don’t know how else to explain it,” I counter, but all the fight’s gone out of my voice. He’s just too close. The heady scent of his aftershave is scrambling my brain cells.

“I told you—because I’m your TA. And everything you just said is exactly why they forbid us from getting involved.”

“Then why are you here?” I rasp.

“Because I can’t not be.” He takes the last step needed to close the space between us and slides his hands into my hair, pulling me into a starving, searching kiss. His tongue sweeps my mouth as if he doesn’t want to miss a spot, and pressed up against him as I am now, there’s no doubt he wants me every bit as much as he did last night, if not more. Even when he pulls away, panting.

Told you you want it. Win a copy by leaving a comment below or retweeting this tweet from my Twitter feed. If you don’t win or just can’t wait until tonight to see if you won a copy, here’s Last Will and Testament on GoodReads and all the links to find & buy your own: Amazon | B&N | iBooks | Smashwords | Kobo

For your chance to win an eCopy of Last Will and Testament, leave a comment below with your name and –not necessary to win–your twitter handle, if you have one or you can retweet the LWaT tweet on my Twitter feed. Winner announced here and Twitter at 9 pm EST!

When One Of Your Most Wildest Dreams Is Coming True

Oh, hi guys! I have a super fun incredibly exciting post for you today.

Yo doooo? (on writing advice from non writers)

Yes, I do. And it’s awesome. I will try to make it quick. No, no I won’t.

When I was 12, my BFF Donna and I would trade books back and forth like they were the most delicious drug of your life. We were two book-loving kindred spirits and it was lovely.

Anne of Gr Gables BFF

Anne of Green Gables, The BabySitter’s Club, Sweet Valley everything, Catcher In The Rye, Wuthering Heights. Basically, we were two badass kids living in an awful religious commune cult at the time and any decent book we could get our hands on was like…high inducing. I am not ashamed, WE WERE FREAKING CRAZY ABOUT THE BOOKS. (And also NKOTB bc duh!)

nkotb cartoon dancing

So. I read Judy Blume’s Tiger Eyes. I loved it. I was inspired. I went from creating mini magazine parodies and drawing cartoons to giving my first actual novel a go. I wanted to write a book with all the feels too. Maybe I wasn’t your average twelve year old: My book was about a girl who watches her depressed friend shoot herself. Donna was my first reader. She was probably freaked out.

KW shocked:scared

Lucky for her, it got tricky to write first person, present tense point-of-view and I gave up. I went back to making little magazines and improv-ing sketches on tape.

That was a long time ago. Since then, I’ve written hundreds of poems and songs, an unfinished screenplay, a short story. (You know, all the things that’ll never see the light of day). In 2008, I started a memoir-based novel. But I was also working a job that got kind of…

office don't want to do anything I'm dying

Then long story short I quit that job & decided to get all up in my book writing. I pulled out my one writing book, notebook, files, checked out and bought more writing books, cruised the internet, and learned a lot. I also ditched the memoir-based novel because my writing partner in crime (one of my high school BFFs) Laura said, “Let’s start something new and fun and just write!” So I opened up a new file, and was inspired by high-school, first love, good times, bad times, and of course some 90210 drama.

old 90210

Wait. Not old school 90210, new 90210 with Matt Lanter.

90210 in hallway

I titled the new document PROM BITCH and just started writing. I kept writing and sharing chapters with Laura and also sent them to my non-writerly but gracious, awesome & supportive BFF Jen. These two were so awesome during this time because that first draft was a hundred drafts ago, you guys and was shit so, so rough but Jen & Laura were always like YAY! GO! THIS IS LIKE A REAL STORY! I LOVE IT!

90210 thumbs up

And I queried and got an agent! Victoria Lowes believed in my book too. And then the revisions. I revised once more, then with Victoria, I revised two more times. And then I entered what most writers call “SUB HELL.” This is the time where it’s like querying, but instead of getting an agent to love your book enough to want to sell it, your agent pitches it to editors. Yes, it was hell, I suppose. But for me, it was also really, really exciting. Victoria really guided me with those revisions and I think we got a great book out there so the rejections were actually pretty easy to take. Also, it’s easy for me to say this now. I won’t even lie. Sometimes the process did feel like reliving my twenties. You know:

self-loathing

keep getting knocked down

No leg shaving

hairy legs gif

and the Wait! What? Whyyyyyy?

you liked me then you just left gif

& treats to ease the pain:

crying donut gif

Ok Fine. Super Long Story. Wrapping it up. It wasn’t too long before Victoria emailed me with: CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU GET A CHANCE! : ) Right away I knew it was an offer. (because what kind of evil agent would email you something like that if it wasn’t right?!) So I started sweating. I was in Barnes & Noble. I bought my daughter a giant cookie and a toy, put her in her carseat and called Victoria from the parking lot.

stomach hurts, pits are sweating KW

I was right. Victoria said we had an offer! I was very:

huh what KW face (phone text)

So Victoria explained it. Someone wanted my book! An editor wanted it and then my book made it through the acquisitions process–YAY! So, after some OMG hurry up you guys! fun paperworky contract agent/publisher stuff and me having the worst time holding onto this secret…

I'm ready to paaaarty gif

I’m super thrilled and excited to announce that I HAVE A BOOK DEAL!

elaine ecstatic

Kristin Kulsavage of SkyHorse Publishing/Sky Pony Press has bought PROM BITCH for release in Fall of 2015! Here’s the deal announcement in Publisher’s Marketplace:

PM PB PIC

In case you can’t read it, it says: “Debut author Ami Allen-Vath’s PROM BITCH, about a high school senior navigating prom season amidst panic attacks, a new boyfriend, & a suicide letter from the class outcast, to Kristin Kulsavage at Sky Pony Press, in a nice deal, for publication Fall 2015, by Victoria Lowes of The Bent Agency.”

You guys! YOU GUYS. My book will be something we can buy and hold and kiss and oh crap…READ, I guess! In Fall of 2015!?!? *kind of faints*

What Is Happening?! gif

So huge thanks to everyone who has been with me so far. I am not going to name all the names yet bc how boring would the book’s acknowledgements be if you’d already read them here. But HUGE thank you to the guy who was like “Whoa you’re writing a book? We better go get you a real laptop.” and “You’re gonna ignore me on our anniversary vacation in Puerto Rico to finish writing a book called Prom Bitch? Sure!”

dancing for cop

Yes, that’d be Justin, my amazing husband! (Who totally used to be a cop and totally thinks all my moves rock). Thanks Justin and thank YOU, supportive Family & Friends and Future Readers of my book!

xoxoAMI

Dear YA Author: The Dear Ella July Edition

EMC Author Photo

Time for the July edition of Dear YA Author!

For more info on the series, disclaimer that advice is not in lieu of a professional’s, and submitting your own questions or being featured as an author, email dearYAauthor@gmail.com and/or see this post.

This month features Ella Martin. Ella’s YA novel WILL THE REAL PRINCE CHARMING PLEASE STAND UP? debuted this month. I just started it and so far it’s a fun read with a great cast of characters. Check out the blurb from the back cover:

Bianca is the Westgate Prep quarterback’s sister—and that’s her only claim to fame. When her friends’ social experiment turns her into the It Girl of the sophomore class and she captures the attention of the most popular guy in her grade, though, she’s ecstatic to introduce the world to her first boyfriend. But no one’s ever told her what to do when her friends hate her boyfriend and Prince Charming starts acting like a control-freaky nightmare. It doesn’t help that being around her brother’s best friend is making her head all fuzzy, either.

You want to get this book, stat, right? Buy links are at the bottom and a chance to win a copy AND a signed postcard or poster!

Ella says she writes about kids who are way cooler than she ever was. Not sure if that’s true, but I think Ella’s book and answers to this month’s teen questions have totally redeemed her. Check it out, y’all:

Dear YA Author, 

I’m thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. As great of a time as we may have together, I just don’t feel what I used to feel with him anymore. I feel terrible and I’ve really tried to make it work, but it isn’t working out. I don’t want to seem like the bad guy but I think I will be…especially since there’s another boy. He’s not in the picture at all, but I definitely would like to begin talking to him. Ugh, what do I do?

 Sincerely,

“Bad Breakups”

 Dear Bad Breakups,

This is never an easy scenario, and yes, no matter what happens, when you break up with him (and yes, that’s “when”, as it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind), he’s going to see you as the bad guy. All that said, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. People change as they grow, and not all couples grow together. It happens.

But what’s troubling is that you say you’ve tried to make it work. I really hope this just means there have been some disagreements over petty things and not that he’s being creeptastic or anything. If he’s behaving like a control-freaky jerk, though, that’s a whole other story and you should absolutely kick him to the curb and don’t look back.

As for the other guy you want to start talking to, he’s only a part of this discussion because you’ve discovered there’s someone more interesting than your boyfriend. And that’s cool. Just don’t mention him to existing boyfriend when you dump him.

Hopefully New Guy will be awesome and amazing and things will work out. If they don’t that’s cool, too. You’ve got lots of time and lots of boys to meet.

Whatever you do, though, don’t settle. As one of my characters says in my novel, “You can do so much better than ‘not that bad.’”

xoxo

-E

Dear YA author,

My friends and I have been friends with this girl since middle school and lately she has become really annoying. She is only worried about herself and always wants to know where one of us is. We have tried telling her but she still does it. How can we tell her so she will listen and understand when enough is enough?

“Over It” 

Dear Over It,

Wow, insecure much? It sounds like your friend is feeling left out while you and the others in your group are starting to explore stuff that interests you. It could be because she hasn’t figured out yet what she likes to do, or it could be because she’s afraid to try something new. Regardless, she’s probably freaking out about being left behind.

Is there anything you can do about it? Um, well, not really. I mean, you can invite her to join you in different activities, but if she’s reluctant, you can’t force her. You guys should, however, sit down with her in a kind of intervention and let her know that just because you’re not with her every second of the day doesn’t mean you don’t like her; it just means you guys are have a lot going on. Whether or not that will work, though, depends entirely on her.

Your best course of action after that would be to acknowledge her fear and redirect her attention to stuff you think would interest her. And if that still doesn’t work, it may be time to add some distance. But that’s always a much tougher pill to swallow.

Good luck and lots of hugs to you!

xoxo

-E

Dear YA Author,

Me and my best friend have been friends since 6th grade were are now sophomores. Towards the middle of the year I began talking to this boy. And we eventually started to date. We had been together about 3 months when my best friend started acting different.  She said it was me that had changed but I didn’t realize I did. She began to say all these rude remarks about my boyfriend. And then she would try to pick an argument with him. She said that I had to pick between my boyfriend and her. But I couldn’t break up with my boyfriend, and I couldn’t lose my best friend. I had no idea what to do. So I just went with my heart. I got advice from my sisters and a lot of other people. I took their advice. For about 2 weeks I tried to be so nice to her and do a lot of fun things with her. I tried to make her feel like she wasn’t left out but no matter what I did, it was like her mind was made up and I couldn’t change it. Weeks passed and we hadn’t said a word. I would occasionally see her in the halls and I would try to look for her and pass her so I could smile at her, but she would rarely smile back. I had no idea what else to do, I thought that I did all that I could and that a true friend wouldn’t have made me pick between my boyfriend and her. It has now been almost 5 months and I haven’t communicated with her at all. My boyfriend and I are still together and doing great, but now that summer is here I’m starting to realize how much I miss her. I have no idea what I should do or if I should even do anything. Should I just spend time with other friends and forget about it or should I try to get in touch with her? I’m unsure of what I should do. Sincerely,

An average 15 years young girl 

Dear 15,

Friend breakups are the worst. Best friends are like sisters you choose, and cutting those ties is more painful than breaking up with any guy, so I completely empathize.

You are absolutely right that a true friend would never ask you to choose between your boyfriend or your friends. (No boyfriend worth dating would ask you to choose, either.) My guess is she’s feeling left out, possibly even jealous of him. And it’s quite possible you have changed since you started dating your boyfriend—and that’s totally normal and healthy! It’s called growth, and it’s important. But I’m curious to know how your friend thinks you’ve changed. Like, does she think you’re behaving irresponsibly? Does she think you’ve been shutting out everything in your life that doesn’t revolve around your boyfriend? Or is she baffled by some new interests you share with your boyfriend?

At any rate, it sounds like you guys need some serious girl time. I suggest you reach out to her this summer and invite her to do something the two of you used to do freshman year. Plan a sleepover with just the two of you, tell your boyfriend you’re incommunicado while you’re with her, and make an effort to talk about anything except him while you’re together.

Friends are important—best friends, especially. In a lot of ways, they know us better than we know ourselves and can identify unhealthy behaviors that we’re too close to see. She may just feel left out, or she may hate your boyfriend because she thinks it isn’t a healthy relationship. But you’ll never know unless you tell her you miss her and ask her to be part of your life again.

I hope you guys can patch things up. Boyfriends are awesome, but there’s nothing like having calorie-fests and complaining with your friends about stupid stuff boys do (and they always do stupid stuff).

xoxo,

-E

****

Everyone GO find WILL THE REAL PRINCE CHARMING PLEASE STAND UP? at AmazonBarnes & NobleSmashwords, Kobo, and, iTunes! To find out more about Ella and like/follow her all round the internet, you’re in luck. Ella has a blog, is on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Instagram.

WTRPCPSU Cover

High-five and a hundred thank yous to Ella Martin for answering these questions, a MILLION thank-yous to the teens who sent your questions in, and the readers who stopped by! Ella has offered to send a signed postcard or poster to a lucky reader and I’m going to throw in an copy of her book for your i-reader. So, if you want to WIN AN E-COPY OF WILL THE REAL PRINCE CHARMING PLEASE STAND UP? AND A SIGNED POSTCARD OR POSTER, all you have to do is comment on the post. Comment with any book you’d recommend to one of the teens who sent a question this month. Also, if you have one, leave your twitter handle in the comment section, so I can shout you out when I announce the winner next Thursday the 24th of July!

XOXO